For every fan boy who's ever watched a Romero flick, you're worst dreams are about to come true. The zombies are coming, and the world will end in the ever-hungry maws of the undead. I'm just having a lark, of course...or am I? How well do you feel you'll do during these horrific times? Is there any chance of surviving the worst possible calamity the world has every seen? How will you know what kind of people to team up with during your run through the gauntlet? Well, I think that the type of t-shirts they wear will give you an instant idea into their personality type...or should I say, zombie t-shirts?
How many times have you seen the collective works of George Romero during your youth? Do you get mad when movies feature improbably fast zombies? Don't they know that the muscles are rotting in a zombie corpse and that they only grow weaker with time? Such nerve in these filmmakers these days! If you agreed to anything you just read, you may just be a Nerd survivor. Nerd survivors are a wealth of knowledge on the subject of zombies, and will be invaluable. They have a 0% chance of survival unless they quickly find a protector-type. They will be wearing zombie t-shirts that are covered with all kinds of zombie references.
The next type of survivor is the Soldier. The Soldier is someone who may have been a police officer or a military type before the zombie outbreak occurred. These people don't merely fight zombies, but also fervently organize against them. They rally troops of common people by their sides and fight back against the growing tide of undead. The chances for survival for a Soldier are pretty slim, however, since fighting against zombies is just begging for death. One little bite, and that's all she wrote. The zombie t-shirts that Soldiers will be wearing will say something along the lines of, "Kill 'em all and let Got sort 'em out!"
The last type of zombie apocalypse survivor is the "Hero." The Hero is our kind of guy...or gal. I'm totally not a misogynist. These people are not like some other kinds of survivors and are only concerned about themselves. They want as many people as they can find to live through the catastrophe so that the human race can rebuild from the ruins of its former glory. The Hero will sacrifice their own safety to ensure the safety of others, and they should be applauded...right before they are shot in the head because their actions led to their inevitable zombification. The Hero's survival chances are not so hot, honestly...for obvious reasons. The best zombie t-shirts for these Heroes should have some kind of Superman symbol on it.
Admittedly, zombie t-shirts are not going to help you live through the coming cataclysm. When the zombies come, the world is going to crumble into a very untidy pile. All of the plans you've been laying are going to be nothing so important as dust in the wind. If you're not one of these crazy people who are stockpiling guns, food, and water...then your chances are pretty slim, no matter what type of category you fall into. The only thing you'll have to look forward to is a bit of excitement before you're forced to join the zombie horde.
How many times have you seen the collective works of George Romero during your youth? Do you get mad when movies feature improbably fast zombies? Don't they know that the muscles are rotting in a zombie corpse and that they only grow weaker with time? Such nerve in these filmmakers these days! If you agreed to anything you just read, you may just be a Nerd survivor. Nerd survivors are a wealth of knowledge on the subject of zombies, and will be invaluable. They have a 0% chance of survival unless they quickly find a protector-type. They will be wearing zombie t-shirts that are covered with all kinds of zombie references.
The next type of survivor is the Soldier. The Soldier is someone who may have been a police officer or a military type before the zombie outbreak occurred. These people don't merely fight zombies, but also fervently organize against them. They rally troops of common people by their sides and fight back against the growing tide of undead. The chances for survival for a Soldier are pretty slim, however, since fighting against zombies is just begging for death. One little bite, and that's all she wrote. The zombie t-shirts that Soldiers will be wearing will say something along the lines of, "Kill 'em all and let Got sort 'em out!"
The last type of zombie apocalypse survivor is the "Hero." The Hero is our kind of guy...or gal. I'm totally not a misogynist. These people are not like some other kinds of survivors and are only concerned about themselves. They want as many people as they can find to live through the catastrophe so that the human race can rebuild from the ruins of its former glory. The Hero will sacrifice their own safety to ensure the safety of others, and they should be applauded...right before they are shot in the head because their actions led to their inevitable zombification. The Hero's survival chances are not so hot, honestly...for obvious reasons. The best zombie t-shirts for these Heroes should have some kind of Superman symbol on it.
Admittedly, zombie t-shirts are not going to help you live through the coming cataclysm. When the zombies come, the world is going to crumble into a very untidy pile. All of the plans you've been laying are going to be nothing so important as dust in the wind. If you're not one of these crazy people who are stockpiling guns, food, and water...then your chances are pretty slim, no matter what type of category you fall into. The only thing you'll have to look forward to is a bit of excitement before you're forced to join the zombie horde.
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